She said her name was "party"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
false alarm. still invincible.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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