that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
