I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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