He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
wow bdsm is so cute
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
