so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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