one two three fourrrrnication!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
