Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
