Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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