i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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