this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
