wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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