You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
