okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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