Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
