Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
