I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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