i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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