You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
love makes seman taste better
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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