Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
