I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize