Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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