Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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