she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
