you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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