His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
