We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
