so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ugly people sure do ruin things
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
