I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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