She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
