My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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