i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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