i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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