i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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