im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
