Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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