it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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