now i know why i became what i already was.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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