Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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