White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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