so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
