How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
