what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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