Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
