he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
