I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize