she was so not down for the gang bang
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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