note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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