At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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