Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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