yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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