Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
