I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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