I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
