i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
