I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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