OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
