Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
