I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize