He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
