Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
