Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize