i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
why do cheetos always look like penises
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We talked him into tasing himself.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
