College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
porn star boner night. come get it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
