"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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