And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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