How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
